You may be surprised by the title.
No, it’s not a mistake:
“Mean mother tosses her baby”
It’s what my oldest son suggested I name my new painting when I asked him his thoughts.
We both laughed at such observation.
It surely wasn’t my intention when I had the paintbrush on my hand.
But then again, was it?
I didn’t intend to paint a mean mother tossing her baby!
No, never that!
But why was that my son called it so?
Is this what I thought?
Was that how I felt?
Was it what I feared?
Now wait a minute,
is something there that just a second ago wasn’t so clear?
You may be onto something, my son.
Such a smart observant you are.
I know it’s a jab,
but you got me thinking so far.
See, in a home, children grow and let go.
They choose their steps, they challenge your choices.
You’re forced to learn how to coach from the sidelines.
If you’re ready for it, is not the point.
If you like it, is not going to matter.
It’s already in their voices.
It’s when you look up instead of down.
It’s when their feet leads to slamming doors.
Am I welcome anymore?
It’s when they ask for help with homework,
lunch and dinner.
It’s when they need reminders to do their math,
wash their dishes and take their baths.
It’s at those mom-ents that you think:
“They still need me!”
Right?
But time is urgent
It tells you so,
you need to learn
to let them go.
“The world is waiting
You’ve done your deed
Now step aside
and let them lead!”
It’s with a knot, a gulp, a sigh, a tear
I watch them grow with pride and fear.
I trust that you have chosen well
on all the lessons that you dwell.
Please just know that I’m right here,
a phone away,
a text away,
a hug away,
a thought away.
And if your wings fail you from time and again,
I still have that fail proof first aid kit to kill your pain,
packed up with hugs and kisses and motherly love.
And as a bonus, those words of wisdom you’re in such a need of.
You know, just in case.
6 comments
Debbie
Love all your painting,
In your new picture tossing the baby means to me “ Let him fly” ❤️❤️❤️
PriscilaAuthor
Thank you, Debbie! I agree it’s a good title 🙂 Sometimes it’s so hard to do that, right? We just want them under our wings.
cintia
Wow…I have no word to express how much I love the painting and the poem. I don’t even know which one I love more, both equally, I guess. Your sensibility as an artist and as a mother is so clear in your work. It touches my heart in a deep level. I am such a fond of you! Title suggestion: You have wings to fly.
PriscilaAuthor
Thank you, Cintia! I love the title idea!!! I love that there was no poem until the conversation with Lucas. Those kids really do inspire me! I’m so happy you liked it!
Carole Heid
Dear Priscilla,
I was really honored that you included me in your group email. I know you are now at a crossroad with deciding where to take the next step in Jay’s educational journey. I don’t know all your options but do know CSD offers a comprehensive opportunity for Deaf students. It has state of the art everything, full inclusion, enrichment and residential living. What’s not to like?
It is a pure ASL environment and that may prove a challenge for Jason. It is not as supportive of auditory/verbal skills, despite what you might be told. Students with limited ASL skills often struggle initially but they will be expected to learn to function with ASL as their primary means of communication. Knowing that going in will help you appreciate what you all will need to do in terms of shifting your communication skills to ASL. It does not work for all students. Some students go there and then find it’s not a good fit and that’s okay. So make sure you also explore your other options before making a final decision. I do feel that Solano County (not Vallejo) offers a rich and supportive secondary program for our transitioning students. But remember you have the option of waiting a while to make this decision.
We have had parents who sent their child to CSD but were not initially willing to have them be residential. That is also your right. It did require the parent to drive with some compensation for driving expenses. I imagine you could fight for Vjo to provide daily driving but it would be a battle hard to win since they would insist there is a sufficient alternative locally.
Now, to your painting…
I had a lunch gathering today with a close knit group of DHH educators including Ms Mary, Ms Amber, an infant specialist, and an administrator. I shared your email, your painting and your poem with them. You moved us all to tears. We all so appreciate and respect you for your honesty in sharing your story. Everyone was struck by your internal struggle in contrast to the wings and the image of letting Jay fly. I think the title of your painting is right in your poem. “You need to learn to let them go.” The hardest thing we parents have to learn to do. In letting them go we allow them to grow.
You have always been and will always be a wonderfully loving and supportive mom to all your kids. They are very blessed to have such an awesome mom.
Keep me posted.
Carole Heid
PriscilaAuthor
Thank you, Carol, for the wonderful reply! You nailed at everything you said about CSD. That’s exactly how I feel, however, I found out at his IEP that Vallejo has a transportation already taking some kids to CSD on a daily basis. So, cross our fingers, we might just add him to that. It will all be a learning curve and yes, nothing is permanent. If it doesn’t work out, we can change!
I love that you were getting together with some DHH educators, please send them my love next time you see them. You are all very special to our children’s lives!
Thank you for the title suggestion and your comments on my painting and poem. It means so much to me! I will keep you posted for sure!